Obstetricians Anonymous

I am an obstetrician and I am not sorry for that.

People react strangely whenever I tell them that. I’ve had people ask me if I’m a lesbian (seriously) or if I’m a pervert. Some think it must be the best job in the world and more don’t even know what it means.

I tell them all the same thing - once I’ve clarified my position as neither lesbian nor pervert - that it is a fantastic job, that it is undoubtedly a huge privilege to deliver babies, to be present for that life altering moment in people’s lives. And of course, that it is bloody hard.

We are very good at what we do. Maternal and perinatal morbidity and mortality are at incredible lows. So low in fact that public perception of pregnancy has changed to the point that many people feel they are entitled to and guaranteed a healthy child as soon as the pregnancy test is positive. I sincerely wish this were the case, I do, but sadly, it is not. Bad things still happen, people make mistakes and babies and mothers do sometimes die.

No one wants this and no one feels more responsible when this happens than those of us whose duty it is to prevent it from happening. We are not monsters or misogynists despite what some may think or imply. While you may blame us when things go wrong, the blame you are apportioning to us is nothing compared to the blame we are placing on ourselves.

Please do not misunderstand me, I do not wish to minimise anyone’s grief. A motherless child or a childless mother are 2 of the most deeply saddening and unacceptable concepts I can fathom. I am thankful I have no personal experience of either one.

If fingers need to be pointed, then point them you may but please do not forget that we are all people underneath it all. We are flawed and fallible but not malicious. And when we fail you in our duties we are just so so sorry for that.

10.12.14